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August 29, 2005
Stay
In preparing for our eventual move Mason and I decided that we would start to put most of our CD collection on the computer and eventually into our iPods. Less to carry, less to declare, and we can get rid of some of our old CDs and make some cash at the same time.
We had this conversation in the car back from camping yesterday. It's amazing that I've seen the end of the cassette, and now the CD as the main mode of listening to music (Mason actually saw the end of vinyl and 8-tracks!!!!!! - I am so getting slapped for that comment later.) It's all being replaced by MP3s and digital music.
So as I started the process yesterday of downloading our combined collection it was almost as if I was riding a rollercoaster into my past. Some of my old CD cases have my Massachusetts address on them (so they wouldn't get stolen,) some of the bands I totally forgot existed, and some of the music brings me back to my late teens and early 20's....like Shakespear's Sister, and their song Stay. God I loved that song, and now I am replaying it over and over on iTunes.
In a way I am finding that this eventual move to Canada is going to be much more cathartic then I realized.
August 28, 2005
Oh My God...they killed Kenny!
We're back from the Colorado Mountains - we decided to head home this morning after Mason's back decided to give him a very large middle finger about sleeping on the ground in a tent. It seems to have a taste for pillow-top mattresses. So after a fabulous Rocky Mountain breakfast of coffee, sausages and pancakes we packed up and 4X4'd down the mountain and back home. Truth be told I quite enjoyed the nice hot shower I had and the cuddle-time I got on our soft, cushy bed with my man. The dogs have also seemed to had a great time as both of them are now passed out on top of the air conditioner grate in the bedroom. Ahhhhhhhh, camping.
I did take some pictures and will endeavor to get them up ASAP. The sunrises were beautiful and the sky was so full of stars at night that I felt like I could have dived into the black ocean above my head. I love camping, however, hearing coyotes howling and yelping at 1am and the dogs going apeshit to get out of the tent is not such a good thing for sleeping, so I have a feeling that a catnap is making it's way toward me this afternoon.
However, we did have one small casualty from our camping experience this year - Kenny is dead. For those of you that don't know I am a big fan of South Park, and a few months ago purchased a styrofoam antenna topper in the shape of Kenny McCormick. He has been all across the state, waving to and fro in the wind, being pelted with hail, rain and wind. I was looking forward towards taking Kenny with me eastward next month when my friends and I do a road trip to Ohio, but alas...Kenny didn't make it out of the woods alive. It seems that on our journey out of the back country wilderness Kenny was popped off the antenna and run over by the car. How appropriate that it happened in the South Park Ranger District....You Bastards!
Something that I did think about last night as I gazed into the campfire is that this more then likely this was the last time I will be camping in Colorado. With any luck we won't be here by the start of next summer, and Mason and I are not planning any late season camping trips. It was one of those moments that makes Canada a little bit more real to me.
Posted by Nikolas at 02:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBackAugust 26, 2005
Ladies & Gentleman...The President of the United States of America
From today's news:
“I’m not meeting again with that goddamned bitch,” Bush screamed at aides who suggested he meet again with Cindy Sheehan, the war-protesting mother whose son died in Iraq. “She can go to hell as far as I’m concerned!” Bush, administration aides confide, frequently explodes into tirades over those who protest the war, calling them “motherfucking traitors.” He reportedly was so upset over Veterans of Foreign Wars members who wore “bullshit protectors” over their ears during his speech to their annual convention that he told aides to “tell those VFW assholes that I’ll never speak to them again is they can’t keep their members under control." White House insiders say Bush is growing increasingly bitter over mounting opposition to his war in Iraq. Polls show a vast majority of Americans now believe the war was a mistake and most doubt the President’s honesty. “Who gives a flying fuck what the polls say,” he screamed at a recent strategy meeting. “I’m the President and I’ll do whatever I goddamned please. They don’t know shit.”
What an asshole.
August 25, 2005
Change
After the day that both Mason and I had today these are the moments I think anxiously about getting out of Denver. I know, I know...Canada will be no different, but at least it won't be HERE.
Don't get me wrong, I love Colorado and Denver. I think more then anything they were instrumental in helping me evolve into a person. My twenties were defined by the city and its environs. Without it I don't think I would be the person I have shaped myself into. The issue is that any piece of old and comfortable clothing eventually gets worn and is in need of replacing. Getting the same piece of clothing, the same city just won't cover it. You realize that your shoulders are a bit wider, you'd like something a little nicer, maybe something in a different color. Then you realize that the place that you are is out of style and not part of your life anymore. You need a new environment, a new change of clothes...a place to call home and that fits you well.
I think I have found that place for my 30's. Canada and Toronto calls to me like an old, good-natured friend...ready to take me in and make me feel at home by the fire.
Tonight I came across the website of an old friend that I realized (after I sent him an e-mail) I have not spoken to in over a year. In that time he has moved across a continent with his wife, started a new job and embarked on an adventure. I marvel at the continual renewal of life around me.
Humans in general, as I tell my therapy groups, are resistive to change. We love our creature comforts, our moments of comfortiability and laziness. We like what is familiar and close, and to take a chance on the unfamiliar is extremely stressful, but the dividends can be life-changing and allow you to reborn into an entirely new life.
I am so ready for the change...
August 22, 2005
Catholic & Greek (by influence) Guilt
I know this is coming as a bit of a shock, but there really is a Mason. In fact, please feel comfortable and proper by refering to me as "The Mason Lewis" just as my friends, collegues and strangers do each and every day. :-)
After Nick spent all this time and effort to re-work and re-design this website, I felt that twinge that you get when you don't go to mass on Sunday or visit your parents or forget to call friends or family.
It's been interesting to go back and read all of Nick's entries here - re-live the experiences we've had in the process of moving to Canada. There's not much I can add to those entries, but as we move closer, I'm sure there will be insights I can share and I promise to do my part in this process, too. (Even if Nick thought back in June he'd be updating this site by himself.) ;-)
Some thoughts running through my head tonight:
I'm excited.
I'm worried.
I'm scared.
I'm full of anticipation and wonder.
I ache thinking about that moment when I have to say goodbye to my dear and close friends here in Denver.
I can't wait to expand those friendships we've already embraced in our new home and and develop many, many more.
I don't look forward to seeing the skyline of Denver fade into the curve of the earth as we drive East on that day sometime next year.
I'm thrilled with house-shopping and neighborhood exploring in our new surroundings.
I'm curious about living in a city, providence and country different that the city, state and country I've known my entire life.
I worry about the stresses our our lives as this process continues.
I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye to these two, allergy-inducing balls of fur - one rubbing against my feet as I type this and the other staring intently at the screen ready to pounce at the computer screen to chase the mouse curser (the cats won't be joining us.)
I really, really don't look forward to packing up this house.
With a smile on my face, I wait patiently for that moment when I begin naturally saying "oot and aboot" and "eh" in conversation and not to poke fun at my neighbors to the North.
All I can promise in my future updates is that I will be open and honest here as I have always done my best to do in life. That you will experience my thoughts and feelings here just as you would if we were sitting across from each other in our favorite coffee shop. That you will read first-hand how a 40-year-old man can, for the first time in his life, pick up and leave behind the state he's never left for anywhere else, to a place where we hope we can live without borders.
Posted by Mason at 10:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBackAugust 21, 2005
A new beginning
So I decided to redo the website with a new domain name, blogging software and design. It's really my first opprotunity to take a great big dive in the ocean of cyberspace. No floaties on my arms, just a small life-perserver...I just thought this would be a better way to do it, rather than work with TypePad...the other website was getting to be a pain in the butt. Mason and I are probably going to unleash it on friends and family in the next few weeks...oye.
So hopefully my few loyal readers will be able to make the change over. Welcome to Life Without Borders!
Posted by Nikolas at 05:04 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBackAugust 10, 2005
Confirmations
I had the nicest weekend by far this past weekend. I got to make my monthly pilgrimage to Southern California and spend time with my teacher and friend. My two other spiritual brothers were busy with projects so that left me and Kevin alone to discuss spirituality, focus on my classes, take my mid-term (I passed :-) ) and then go and have our Lammas festival by the ocean. Something about being back in the salt water rejuvenated me and made me feel at peace. It was I think the perfect California Day.
I also told Kevin about Mason and I’s decision to move to Canada. It felt great to get that weighty boulder off my chest; however, it felt even better to get confirmation that this was the right move for us. I can’t get into specifics, but let’s just say that there was confirmation from the divine that there is a bigger universal connection for me to move to Toronto. That, along with Mason’s recent tarot card reading has made me feel better about our move, and has let me know that we should be there soon.
I think the hardest thing lately has just been getting used to the idea of moving. Mason started clearing out the basement – this is a project that is going to take a awhile, but will be good in a number of ways. It will help us to purge the things out of our lives that no longer belong there and to get started on the difficult process of packing up our lives and moving on. In all this is the jump I think we both need to get motivated and prepare for the changes in our lives – no matter how small or how large they may be.
Posted by Nikolas at 07:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBackAugust 05, 2005
Canada Dreamin'
Canada has been on my mind as of late, but then again when is it not on my mind? I'm a little pissed off that CBC has been taken off cable in the United States in order to launch Al Gore's pathetic excuse for a cable channel.
I now have to get my Canadian Nightly News fix via the internet and
streaming video - thank the gods for my cable modem! But Canada has
been on the brain lately because I was reading an article
on CBC this morning that talked about the lack of immigrants from the
United States following through on their threats to move North after
the 2004 election. In reality, there are actually fewer applications in the queue then there were leading up to the election. Todd and I are hoping this helps to speed up the processing of our paperwork. In
reality though I have had it asked to me quite a number of times why we are moving to Canada, or when I have mentioned it in passing have been told hatefully to not let the door hit me on the way out.
Why Canada? I know I've covered this before in this blog, but the reality is that Todd and I thought about this long and hard way before the results of the 2004 election. Had Bush not have won I only think it would have delayed our departure but not by much. There is a driving force in each of us that wants to explore life outside of the United States. Maybe it will be for a few years or maybe it will be forever, but whatever the outcome at this point in our lives it's what we want to try.
But back to the article, when the question as to why people whimped out and never followed through on immigration a person wrote in WMTC's Blog that:
It must be because they realized it's just not as easy as they expected it to be; That's exactly it. Except for those fresh out of school, you tend to stick down roots where you live. It's hard enough to move to another city in a different state/province, let alone another country.
That's something the wackos that call Laura a coward don't seem to
understand. To actually pack up and move to Canada is an act of
bravery, not cowardice.
I envy Laura gets to move so soon, but I know in my heart that we are not far behind. Call me a coward, and adventurer, a traitor or a patriot...I'm just following my dream.
Posted by Nikolas at 02:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
